Ep 11-1. A Kid Suddenly Appeared—But I Did Not Get Married!

Heavenly Army, Doraon dorai_ By Ooahan JS

(Lee Seomin’s POV)

“What are you eating? Hurry up and pick something. I have to get to work.”

We were at a convenience store, and Orang was taking way too long choosing an ice cream. He kept picking one up, inspecting it like it was a rare artifact, then putting it back. My patience finally snapped.

I startled myself with how harsh I sounded.

Jeez. When did I start acting like such a dictator?

Feeling embarrassed, I quickly looked around the store.

No one.

Whew.

No witnesses.

I scanned the area one more time, just to be sure.

Outside, an employee was wiping down the outdoor tables.

Good.

No one saw me losing my damn mind over an ice cream selection.

I mean, I’m not usually like this. So why do I keep snapping at Orang?

Meanwhile, he was still standing there, holding the freezer door open, deep in serious contemplation.

“Ugh. Just pick something already. Stop annoying me.”

“Hmm… this is hard. I really want to try this one, but that one looks good too… Do I really have to pick just one?”

Oh my god.

Why? Why did I say, “You only get one, so choose wisely. Make sure to factor in taste, value, and even your soul” before we came in here?

That was clearly a mistake.

Orang, being the eternal headache that he is, took those words way too seriously.

“They all taste the same. Just grab one. Forget what I said earlier.”

“But I’m already struggling without betting my soul on it… I just don’t have enough taste data for this world. In the Celestial Realm, we can just touch food to know how it tastes—”

“Ugh, again with the Celestial Realm. You know what? Just go back, then. Or better yet, shut up about it.”

“I was just saying—wow, you are cranky.”

“Yeah? Well, you’re annoying. Pick. Something.”

He sighed, finally sensing my deep frustration, and went back to browsing.

But he still wasn’t choosing.

I glanced toward the front of the store.

The employee had finished wiping the outdoor tables and returned to the register.

Even he was side-eyeing Orang, wondering why a tiny kid was frozen in front of the ice cream section like he was making a life-or-death decision.

“Orang. Pick one, or I will pick one for you.”

At last, finally, Orang scowled and grabbed a random strawberry ice cream.

No hesitation, no thought—just pure spite.

Seriously. If he was just going to pick at random, what was the last ten minutes even for?!

I snatched the ice cream from his tiny hand and stormed to the counter.

I could hear his little feet padding after me, and for some reason, that irritated me even more.

After paying, I walked straight out without waiting for him.

Let him struggle with the door or whatever.

…Except, of course, he actually did struggle.

Through the glass, I saw him standing there, helplessly tugging at the heavy door.

The employee sighed, walked over, and opened it for him.

Then—oh, fantastic—he shot me a dirty look.

Great.

Just great.

He probably thinks I’m a terrible mother for letting my “child” struggle.

No, dude. You’ve got it all wrong. That is not my kid. Not my responsibility.

I wanted to say that.

But it’s not like anyone would believe me.

Even if I screamed, “I’m not his mom! I’m not even his aunt! I barely know him!”

…it would just make me look worse.

So I swallowed my pride.

This, too, shall pass.

Meanwhile, the little freak who once sniffed my bra was waddling toward me, looking all innocent and adorable.

Anyone else would’ve found his chubby little steps precious.

But I knew the truth.

This was no normal kid.

This was a pervert in disguise.

This was a man who once lay in my bed and got hard, then sniffed my bra like a psycho.

And no one but me knew the truth.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

I turned away, tore open the ice cream wrapper like it owed me money, and chomped down hard.

Maybe, just maybe, the icy chill would cool my burning rage.

It didn’t.

My fury was alive and well.

I glared at my own hand, gripping the ice cream stick.

These stupid, stupid hands.

If not for them, I wouldn’t have ended up with this creepy little gremlin living in my house.

If not for them, I wouldn’t have “accidentally” entered into some weird contract.

How did a 190cm godly heartthrob suddenly shrink into this useless 4-year-old form?

Even now, it made zero sense.

That night, after I saw… it, and after I ripped his hair out in horror, he had suddenly transformed.

Poof.

Just like that.

Gone was the eight-headed-tall man.

And in his place?

A freaking toddler.

And then—oh, and then—he had the audacity to jump up and down on my bed, cheering.

“The contract is complete, young Princess! You did so well!”

He shouted that in his grown-ass man voice, looking ridiculous in his tiny body.

Then, in his excitement, he miscalculated his step and fell flat on his face.

I watched as he lay there for a second, processing what had just happened.

And then…

His eyes widened in horror.

Oh.

Ohhhh, so now he realized.

He was naked.

Scrambling, he looked around in a panic.

His eyes landed on a three-day-old disposable coffee cup I had carelessly left on the floor.

And what did he do?

He grabbed it like his life depended on it and desperately covered himself.

…Like that was going to help.

I almost laughed.

Almost.

But then—then he had the nerve to turn to me, take a deep breath, and shout:

“Don’t run away! I won’t hurt you!”

…

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