Ep 6-1. The Uninvited Intruder. But… Why Are You Naked?

Heavenly Army, Doraon dorai_ By Ooahan JS

CRASH!

A thunderous sound jolted me awake, my heart pounding.
The deafening noise? My own snoring.

I never thought it was possible to wake myself up like that. Impressive, in a way.

That’s when I realized: I’d fallen asleep.

I’d only meant to rest my eyes after eating a massive meal and trying to meditate, but the bright ceiling light had annoyed me enough to close my eyes. Somewhere along the line, sleep had claimed me. Damn that cursed feeling of fullness—it sabotaged my divine meditations yet again.

Once more, I was reminded that fullness and sleepiness are inseparable companions.

I’d eaten until my stomach was about to burst, passed out without digesting anything, and now my body would undoubtedly pay the price. I knew it would happen, but it didn’t make me hate myself any less.

It was all my brain’s fault. That damned organ had flooded me with hormones, lulling me into sleep like a puppeteer pulling strings.

My self? My soul? Just an illusion. The real master of my body was my brain.

If only it could pump out adrenaline to energize me, or oxytocin to make me feel love-struck instead. But no. That would be too kind.

Instead, my brain betrayed me, controlling me like some indifferent overlord. Stupid, useless brain.

If I had to borrow this body for a lifetime, couldn’t I have been born into one better?
A stunning, statuesque figure—something straight out of a magazine. But no. Genetics had screwed me over.

It’s terrifying, how I inherited the worst traits from both parents, like a curse woven into my DNA.

Meanwhile, my brother… He’s perfect. Beautiful, even.
His features are so refined they feel like art, noble and pristine.
When we were kids, people often mistook him for a girl.

And me? The opposite.

I looked like an ugly little boy, and people assumed I was one. For nine years, I genuinely believed I was a boy.

Until one day on the way to school, I saw a classmate pull down his pants to pee.

“What’s that thing?” I asked.

“…It’s my… um, you know, ‘pepper.’”

“What? Why don’t I have one?”

I was outraged. The injustice of it consumed me.
I demanded answers from Mom, yelling, “Why didn’t you give me one too?!”

That day, I learned to accept life’s inherent unfairness—right after Mom beat me with a broom for screaming about wanting my brother’s “pepper.”

Eventually, I came to terms with being a girl.

But honestly? If I was going to be born with this face, I would’ve rather been born a man.

Men can be ugly and still succeed in romance if they’re rich and talented. Hell, they could conquer the world if they wanted. But for women like me, romance doesn’t exist. Even with money and success, we’re mocked, not loved.

These thoughts made my blood boil. In a fit of frustration, I kicked my legs high into the air.

But something felt… different.

The bed didn’t rebound like usual. Instead, it felt soft. Like I’d kicked a person.

A sense of dread crawled up my spine as I turned my head.

Oh my god.

There was someone else in my bed.

No one’s ever set foot in my apartment since I moved in, so who the hell was this?

I scrambled upright, my eyes darting to the figure lying beside me.

A woman?

From what I could see, she was a woman.
She lay there with her back to me, completely motionless.

“Who the hell are you?” I muttered, my mind racing to piece together how she could’ve gotten in.
Was she the previous tenant? Drunk and stumbled into the wrong apartment? Or did she somehow crack my door lock code?

As I debated, something caught my eye. Her long, glossy hair shimmered in the dim light, but beneath it, her broad shoulders stood out starkly.

“Wow,” I thought. “Did she use to swim competitively?”

Her shoulders were far broader than a typical woman’s.

I decided to wake her up and send her on her way. Reaching out to shake her shoulder, I froze.

She wasn’t wearing a shirt.

Wait… she came into my house, stripped half-naked, and climbed into my bed?!