Heavenly Army, Doraon dorai_ By Ooahan JS
(Orang POV.)
The very moment my hands touched the woman’s chest—
A hand came flying out of nowhere and grabbed me by the collar.
It was my princess.
She was furious.
Again.
But honestly, I didn’t understand what I’d done wrong this time.
As I began frantically searching my brain’s internalized “Otherworld Etiquette Guide,”
her sharp voice pierced straight into my eardrums:
“You little punk. Do you want to die today?”
I froze in place.
But the real surprise wasn’t her anger—
It was the woman whose chest I had just… inadvertently explored.
She looked flustered but quickly stepped between us, saying,
“It’s okay, Mom. He didn’t mean to. He’s just a child—don’t scare him like that.”
That was it.
That was my golden opportunity to escape this disaster.
I summoned every last drop of restored energy and—
burst into tears in the most childlike voice I could muster:
“Waaaah! Mommy’s scary! Don’t be mad! I thought it was yours! I just wanted to touch it!”
Silence.
The world stopped for a beat.
Even the princess looked stunned—like she didn’t quite know how to respond to my magnificent improvisation.
The woman spoke again, softly:
“Oh no, don’t cry, sweetie. Mommy didn’t mean to scare you. You’re okay, little one.”
And right then—
my princess sprang to her feet like lightning.
“That’s enough! This child is my responsibility. Please refrain from interfering.”
The woman looked startled but smiled politely and stepped back.
On the surface, the princess’s stern voice sounded protective.
But I could feel it—
there were layers beneath it.
A mix of shame, confusion, and very likely… panic.
But most importantly—
I learned something new.
I had power now.
Not a lot. Just a little. But enough to cause her real trouble.
All the insults.
All the times she treated me like a nuisance.
Now, I had something to use.
And she knew it, too.
She could already see the future disasters I’d drag her into.
And every bit of humiliation would fall squarely on her.
Because from this moment forward—
I wasn’t going to be her “precious burden.”
I was going to be…
her child.
That’s right. I’ve decided to rewrite the narrative.
She’s no longer my princess.
She’s my mom.
Honestly, I’m kind of impressed with myself.
Even in the Celestial Realm, I was considered an elite.
And now?
Look how cleverly I’m adapting to this ridiculous mortal world.
For a moment, I was overwhelmed by culture shock.
But now?
I’m thriving.
So, riding that wave of confidence, I looked her straight in the eye and said,
“Mother, are you angry with me? But it was instinct—I couldn’t help it.
They say a mother’s warmth is essential for a child’s emotional growth.”
She didn’t reply.
She just looked at me with a cold, withering stare.
Not anger, exactly—
More like the look of a woman calculating every possible way to neutralize a small and very annoying threat.
And somehow, that just made me want to laugh.
Internally, of course.
“Well, if she’s going to see me as a weirdo, I might as well lean into the role.
She’ll never believe my side anyway. I’ll just play the part—for three years. That’s all I need to do.”
“Mother, mother, mother,” I pleaded dramatically.
“Forgive me. I swear I’ll never again put a woman in such an uncomfortable situation.”
She looked around in a panic, clearly worried someone might’ve heard me.
Then, all of a sudden—
she grabbed me by the collar and hissed through clenched teeth:
“You did that on purpose, didn’t you? Listen carefully—
That was wrong.
Don’t ever use your body to manipulate people again.
Not while you’re under my roof.
This is your final warning.”
Her voice was quiet.
But it was terrifying.
Way worse than if she’d just screamed.
Instinctively scanning my surroundings for safety,
I noticed the convenience store clerk across the street staring at us through the window like we were his personal soap opera.
Should I start crying again?
I was seriously considering it.
But before I could decide—
the cunning princess suddenly turned,
reached out,
and gently wiped something from the corner of my mouth.
Then she smiled.
Sweetly.
Motherly.
Fake.
She’s quick.
No doubt she was putting on a show—playing the doting mom for the sake of appearances.
But in that moment, I understood something else.
Being a “mother” in this world?
It’s one hell of a job.
And yet, strangely enough…
a blessing in disguise.
For the first time,
I silently thanked the Jade Emperor for turning me into a child.
Maybe…
just maybe…
life in this world won’t be so bad after all.
And for some reason,
I couldn’t stop laughing.
“Hehehehe…”
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